A lot of “PUA” advice tries to dance around the subject of failure and getting blown out by women because sure failure, which will accompany legitimately trying to get better with women, does not sell PUA materials. However, I believe that most men who are bad with women’s main problem is that they are too afraid to get rejected. PUA books try to work around rejection by emphasizing doing many approaches, but what they’re really getting at is many rejections and failures. The problem is, some guys who are new to game don’t make the correlation, and they think they suck or are a special case of ugly after failing even once, and then take themselves over to PUAHate to be a turd for the rest of their lives, which is sad, because once a man consigns himself to a place like PUAHate he has become essentially dead to women forever.
I think I’m pretty good with women. I’ve had a few 9’s, and I have a couple women I met overseas save up money to visit me on my home turf. If you can get a girl to pay a lot of money to see you, that says a lot I think, and it gives me a lot of confidence. So I am no chump, although I am no PUA, but I wasn’t always as good with women as I am today. I was quite terrible with them nearly a decade ago when I picked up The Game by Neil Strauss. I even pulled a Rodger’s and cried for an hour after a rejection.
At the grocery store I worked in as a teenager I worked alongside the prettiest girl I ever laid eyes on, even to this day. An Italian girl with long dark hair and deep brown eyes, and massive boobies on a skinny frame complete with a literally perfect ass and pair of legs. She was a college sports star who was smart enough to get a science degree and I’m pretty sure she’s a doctor now. An easy 10, and she was very kind to boot, and even quite funny. Nevermind Teenage Aquila, Modern Aquila would probably be crushing pretty hard on her to this day if she was still around, and although she was never mine I remember her quite fondly.
At that point in my life I had only had one girlfriend. I was, and still am, an introvert, but as a teenager I didn’t know how to appropriately go about being an introvert so I was socially awkward. I had seriously dated only one girlfriend my whole life at that time, a pretty redhead who eventually developed a cocaine addiction and become a stripper. I was determined to make the Italian Princess, we’ll call her Bella, my second real girlfriend, except there wouldn’t be any future cocaine abuse or stripping.
I had thought about how to ask her out for months, and my buddies at work encouraged me to ask her out. One even put a ho before a bro and tried to ask her out before I could and it lead to bitterness for a whole 3 days until he apologized and we got Subway and watched Family Guy together in some kind of esoteric male re-bonding ritual at his mom’s house. I listened to heavy metal, lifted weights, and psyched myself up before going into work one day to muster up the courage to ask her out to coffee before some other guy could. And I did ask her out. And she said yes… but only as friends because she had a boyfriend. The worst thing is the boyfriend was a jerk (of course) who had just dumped her, but she was pining for him anyway and still considered herself his property.
I kept myself together at work, and my buddies gave me hearty pats on the back and told me “good try.” I knew coffee with her was a dead end because she kept telling me how nice of a guy I was, and even then I had the wherewithal to know that when a girl tells you how nice you are you are dead in the water. But, as I drove home, I lost it and started crying my eyes out and screaming in anger, and drove like an hour North full of grief and rage, except when my mom called me on the phone to ask me why I wasn’t home and I fed her a weird story about just wanting to go for a long drive for fun that she didn’t believe, but also didn’t question because she knew I needed space for one reason or another. My mom is good like that.
Anyway, I learned from that ordeal that rejection doesn’t equal death. I wasn’t executed, no one laughed at me (I even earned a little respect from my friends and other girls because I approached Bella boldly and handled her rejection well in the heat of the moment), and I wasn’t instantly held down and castrated by the gods that be for my failed endeavor. 3 months later I had a solid 8 that I was with for a few years, and Bella seemed a tad jealous. Bella actually accidentally did me a solid by approaching me in public whenever she saw me with my new woman, who was concerned that I was cheating on her with Bella (I could only wish) because Bella was so friendly towards me.
Bella’s rejection was the medicine I needed. Fast forward about 3 years and towards the end of college I found myself single again. I had to get re-rejected again to get my mojo back, and so I went out “sarging” in some club in Boston. I got shut down hard by a brunette that I didn’t want to approach, but my friends pushed me to. She said I made her feel uncomfortable (my body language that fateful night was that of a seasoned weirdo, I am sure) and asked me to go away. Her comment hurt a lot, and I left the club and drove home angry. A few days later I got over it, and felt near-impervious to rejection, so I just started talking to any girl I fancied at work or school. I don’t remember the rejections, but I remember taking them like they were no problem, and I also remember succeeding way more than I thought I would have. I got a lot of dates, and started going from girlfriend to girlfriend. The harsh rejection in Boston was only Day 1 of the rest of my life, and it was important because it taught me once again that being rejected isn’t the end of the world. I had to get blown out.
Modern PUA’s who sell their advice need to be forward about rejection and how a man can expect to suffer perhaps a good deal of it. Roosh is, so I give him a lot of credit, but most are not. Even the greatest PUA doesn’t have a 100% success rate, and probably not even a 60% rate of return. Regular guys can expect to fail, and fail a lot, but to eventually become mostly numb to it. Every man, even great PUA’s, will experience dry spells maybe an occasional harsh blow out, but getting chicks is way more important than preserving ego. The part of the ego that can’t handle rejection needs to die, and a man kills it when he exposes that part of him to the bullet of rejection.